Choose Your Own Adventure Vinaigrette

This picture makes it seem like I have things together. I assure, I do not. Most days, I am one breezy-looking grain bowl away from a meltdown.

My daughter, Violet, peed in her wicker toy chest moments before this meal was set to hit the table.  No dinner is helped by this type of aggression. I had just placed a pound of angel hair pasta into boiling water.

Usually capellini-type noodles are a dinner time hero. The thin strands cook very quickly. But that night I had about five minutes before our meal dissolved into glue.

Perhaps a less neurotic person would have left the pee until after dinner. I did not.

It is very hard parenting as a perfectionist. It must be extremely hard for Violet.  Anne Lamott says, “I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die.” I try to remember this when I am reflecting back on how the day went with Violet. No one is going to die over gluey pasta or some pee on the floor. Though some days this kind of logical thinking feels impossible.

Violet’s use of her toy chest as a toilet might not have been that different than my impulsive urge to clean it up.  An attempt to gain some control when you feel like you have so little. This is also why having a meal that mutates into a gummy mess can feel so egregious. Just one more thing melting into the ever-mounting pile of chaos. (It could also simply be that Violet did not want to stop playing and the bin offered a semi-private space of convenience. There is really no way to know.)

At this point I have strayed far from dinner. You might be wondering what happened to the noodles. Running the strands under cold water helped. A quick tossing with dressing saved them. And this is the real reason I am here today.

I cannot overemphasize how wonderful this vinaigrette is. The fresh ginger and scallions add a punchy brightness. It is salty, sharp, and slightly sweet.  I like to toast the oil with some dried chilies, but this is not a necessary step. Just do not skimp on the sugar. It is important to balance the other flavors.

The dressing works very well with crunchy vegetables, but even if you do not have any it will perk up whatever you have in your pantry. It works with pasta or rice and pairs well with leftovers like chicken or tofu. If you do not have any protein prepared, peanuts, tinned fish or shelled edamame from the freezer could easily be employed. Prep the dressing while the noodles or rice cook and it will pull dinner together.

What I love about a meal like this is that it is, what I call, choose your own adventure. Add whatever protein you have hanging around. Toss in the vegetables you like or find easiest to cook or might most appeal to a four-year-old. Fold in any remaining items that are threatening to become food cadavers in the fridge.

I employed the same method last week with dinner. I was too tired to prepare much or think of anything that everyone would want to eat. So I sliced up some vegetables, opened a pack of deli meat, and let the people decide. Violet loved getting to choose what was in her sandwich. And her parents loved that there was not a mountain of dishes to climb thirty minutes before bedtime.

Sometimes it might actually help to give up a little control over dinner. It can be hard to recognize when you need to. This dressing is here to remind that you need not have it together all the time. Though it helps to keep some supplies in your pantry when life pees all over the place.

Ginger Scallion Vinaigrette

Ingredients:

for the vinaigrette

• ¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil

• 3 dried chiles (such as Tien Tsin or Chile de Arbol)

• ¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons tamari or soy sauce

• 2 tablespoon rice vinegar

• 2 tablespoons granulated sugar

• thumb-size peeled fresh ginger

• 2 scallions, green and white parts

for the bowl (a loose guide)

• 12 ounces uncooked noodles (like angel hair or capellini) or 1½ cups uncooked rice

• crunchy vegetables (like carrots, cucumbers, peppers, celery)

• tender leafy vegetables or herbs (like baby kale, cilantro)

• cooked vegetables (like steamed broccoli, roasted Brussels sprouts)

• protein (like leftover chicken or tofu, canned fish, shelled edamame)

• toppings (like avocado, sesame seeds, nori)

Instructions:

In a small saucepan, add the sesame oil and chiles. Cook on medium heat for 2 to 4 minutes, swirling the pan occasionally, until it smelly nutty. Remove from the burner and set aside to cool slightly.

In a small liquid measuring cup or bowl, mix in the tamari, vinegar and sugar with a fork. Remove the dried chiles from the saucepan and then wisk in the sesame oil.

Mince together the ginger and scallions. Add them to the vinaigrette mixture and set aside. Reserve the cutting board for chopping whatever raw vegetables you have.

Meanwhile, cook the noodles (or rice) according to the package directions. Once the noodles are about al dente, place them in a large mesh strainer or colander and run under cool water. (If using angel hair pasta consider removing about 1 minute before this point.) Set the drained noodles aside.

Chop your raw, crunchy vegetables and add them to a large bowl. Add in the noodles and toss with one third to half of the dressing. You want the noodles to be well coated with sauce, but not overly saturated. (If using rice instead, keep separate until it is time to assemble the individual bowls.) Add in whatever leafy greens you have and toss again.

Portion the noodle mixture into individual bowls. Add any remaining ingredients you want in your bowl (protein, toppings, et cetera). (If using rice instead, add it along with all your other components here.) Drizzle with remaining dressing, until you feel you have enough. (If you are serving a young child you may elect to portion out the ingredients, keeping them separate and undressed. I do not want to give the impression my daughter ate this bowl as pictured. She did not.)

Makes about 1 cup vinaigrette

Notes:

• Angel hair pasta and capellini are technically two different sizes. Angel hair is slightly smaller in diameter. This was news to me and I did not want to suggest otherwise.

• Pad Thai-style brown rice noodles are also a wonderful (and quick) option here.

• I love Dave Chang and I love his tamari and soy sauce.

Sourdough Pizza, at Last

A lot has happened. Aside from emerging on the other side of our little global pandemic, we had a child.

I thought I was ready. I had all the things that the articles targeted to Type A parents tell you to get: a highchair with footsteps, two sets of mattress protectors, a temporal thermometer. But overnight I became a shareholder in a new parental currency of sleep with a value greater than gold, food, and sex. I lost all sense of self and time.

I was ill-prepared for how hard it would be to have two full time jobs. I had a new tiny manager who held the power to keep me from eating and sleeping. Occasionally, she would hold workshops on how best to poop all over the floor. This new position also cost more than a second mortgage to maintain.

If it sounds like I am complaining it is because I am. We have the most amazing three-year-old, but some days I still wish I could drink a whole hot cup of coffee and read the paper. Instead Saturday mornings you can find me under-caffeinated and using a stuffed lavender rabbit to cajole a screaming girl to enter the water of her swim lesson. This is not an effective technique, if you are in the market for parenting advice.

To all the parents out there, I am sorry. I had no idea.

As you might imagine, I have not had much time to indulge in my previous life. Most of the time I now cook an uninspired rotation of chicken dressed up in various ways, which catapults us from week to week. The motivation to cook has become one of necessity to sustain life and get to bed before 11 PM. The new boss rejects pretty much everything unless it contains chocolate. It is a real lesson in humility.

But I am slowly clawing back. And I have somehow managed to keep our sourdough starter alive for a decade. So I have a pizza recipe for you.

As a parent this feels particularly indulgent. There is a revolution of perfectly good frozen pizzas out there.  I have become somewhat of an expert on this matter and usually have very little desire to go through the trouble of making pizza when delegating to the Screamin’ Sicilian Pizza Corporation is so easy.

But I have started to do certain things to prove to myself that I still can. I suspect this is not a great long term strategy, but for now it has helped recenter my identity beyond being a mom, finder of lost things and keeper of laundry.

Pride aside, the recipe is worthy of sharing. It is one part fluffy focaccia and one part personal pan pizza.  It is a ridiculous item to present after three years of silence, since it requires maintaining a starter and takes many days of advanced notice. But if you are a parent and a planner you are already well suited to this type of torture.

You will need to start this process at least two days before you plan to serve the pizza. At this point I will likely lose the more sane people among us. For the lunatics still reading, the process is mostly hands off and very well suited to winter hibernation at home since it requires multiple points of proofing. It is a nice project if you do not have plans that require leaving the house. Or if you need a distraction and want to stretch a project that is typically tackled in a few hours into a whole weekend.

The result is a crispy-edged pizza with a chewy bottom. It is important not to overly sauce the top, which takes real restraint since pizza with a miserly blessing of tomato is typically upsetting. It will feel like there is not enough sauce as you dollop. But too much in this case will only cause sogginess, so it is best to just let go. The crust is worth it. The result hovers between a New England bar pizza and garlic bread minus the garlic breath.

If you could distill ego into a pizza it would probably look like this one. It is overly complicated to make, requires a lot of attention, and will likely eclipse the rest of your dinner. But even the boss likes it. It is a treasure of recipe, especially if you have a starter and something to prove.

Sourdough Pan Pizza

Inspired by King Arthur Flour and Anthony Falco (formerly of Roberta’s Pizza, with controversy)

Ingredients:

for the dough

• 158 grams water, room temperature

• 40 grams ripe starter

• 5 grams olive oil

• 250 grams bread flour

• 6 grams kosher salt (David’s or Morton brand)

for the pizza

• ½ cup tomato puree (see notes)

• pinch of kosher salt

• 2 tablespoons olive oil, divided

• 6 ounces low-moisture mozzarella cheese, grated

Instructions:

Two days before pizza:

Feed the starter.  For this timeline you will be making the dough in the morning, so aim to feed it the night before (at least 8 hours). (Here are instructions for maintaining a sourdough starter.)

One day before pizza:

You will need over 9 hours for this step, so plan your timeline accordingly.   Here you will make the pizza dough.

In a large measuring cup, add the water and spoon in the starter. (When you add the starter to the water it should float to the top, if it sinks it is not adequately ripe and your dough may not rise properly.) Add the oil and stir it all to combine.

In a large bowl, mix the flour and salt. Make a well in the center, like you are making pasta dough.  Pour the liquid slowly into the middle and, with one hand, swirl the liquid into the flour until no bits of flour remain.  This will form a rough, shaggy ball.  Cover with plastic wrap and let rest for 30 minutes.

After resting the dough will still be shaggy and a little sticky.  Pick the dough up and with your fingers, pull the edges of the dough out and under, making light, quick motions with the tips of your fingers. This should take no more than 30 seconds give or take. Once the dough surface has smoothed a bit, cover it again and let it rest in the bowl for 3 hours.

After the first proof, lightly dust a plate or quarter sheet pan with flour. Pick up the dough and, like before, pull the edges of the dough out and tuck them under to form a smooth ball. Place on your floured surface and wrap well with plastic wrap. Let rest for 6 hours.  (If you kitchen is very cold – less than 70 degrees – this may take longer.) During this time, the dough ball will expand and puff a little. Then wrap well with plastic wrap and place in fridge. (The dough can stay in the fridge for a few days, if you cannot make pizza the following day.)

The day of pizza (about 3 hours before you would like to eat):

Take the dough out from the fridge. You may notice there are some tiny bubbles that formed overnight. In a cast iron pan (aim for one about 9-inches in diameter at the bottom) pour in 1½ tablespoons olive oil and spread it around with your hands. Place the dough in the oiled pan and turn it once to coat both sides in oil.

Spread the dough out to the edges of the pan, dimpling it with your fingers.  It may resist a bit, but do your best to bring the dough to the edge. (If it does not spread all the way, cover it with plastic wrap and let it rest for about 20 minutes and try again.)

Cover with plastic wrap and let it rise for 2 hours. During this time it will expand and puff up.  You may also start to see some larger bubbles forming in the dough.  Meanwhile, prep the sauce. (If using whole tomatoes, puree them – see notes.) In a small bowl, combine the puree with the pinch of salt and remaining ½ tablespoon of oil and place in the fridge.

About 30 minutes before baking, set the oven to 450 degrees and ensure there is a rack in the bottom third of the oven.

When ready to bake, sprinkle three-quarters of the cheese over the dough, being sure to go all the way to the edge of the pan.  Dollop the sauce with a spoon evenly on the top, but do not spread it.  Top with remaining cheese. Place in the bottom third of the oven. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes.   

The pizza is done when the cheese is brown and the pizza edges are golden.  Ensure the bottom is fully cooked by lifting it up carefully with a knife or spatula.  If not, put it back in for a few minutes.  If the top needs a little more time consider placing it close to the broiler and turn it on – this will not take long (take care not to burn the edges).

Run a knife or spatula between the pizza and the pan to loosen the edges to help prevent the pizza from sticking to the pan as it cools. As soon as possible, transfer the pizza to a cutting surface to cool (the knife or spatula will help with this – keep the cutting surface very close).  Let the pizza cool 5 to 10 minutes before slicing.

Makes 8 small slices

Notes:

• For best flavor, puree whole peeled tomatoes for the sauce. Bianco DiNapoli brand is my favorite. Their tomatoes are not salt-free and so keep this in mind when seasoning your sauce.  It should taste flavorful with the pinch of added salt.  Canned tomatoes vary in sodium content so if your sauce still tastes quite bland, add a little more salt.

• This is an excellent and entertaining video to watch on making sourdough pizza at home.

• Avoid fresh mozzarella - it has too high a water content for this style of pizza.
  
  
  
  

A Raspberry Ice Cream Craving

I am not the world’s most breezy pregnant person.

I am certainly not the first to carry a child, nor will I be the last. Pandemic aside, things have been pretty uneventful and I am incredibly grateful for this. But I wish more women could talk about how much of a nine-month mind fuck pregnancy is. The human race depends on us to continue with this arrangement (though it is debatable how well our little experiment is going at the moment).

For close to a year, pregnant women ride a merry-go-round of cruel and unusual symptoms and are still expected to perform their jobs managing offices or cleaning toilets or making sure their other children have carrot sticks and aren’t drinking bleach (often all of the above). Why isn’t this discussed in daily conversation?

I imagine it could go something like this:

No, I cannot sit down because my hemorrhoid has birthed its own baby and they are both bleeding.

Yes, I look tired because it takes me an hour to fall asleep and I wake up four times a night to empty my bladder.

I’m sorry, I lost focus. My baby just nestled her head directly on a nerve, which sent a lightening bolt through my vagina.

It feels like I have a sack of squirrels trying to tunnel into my small intestine and I got distracted for a moment. Please, go on talking about how much you miss the beach.

These are not meant as complaints. Just the facts. They also pale in comparison with getting to finally meet our baby girl. But second on my list is a date with a turkey sandwich. Followed by a glass of wine. I also cannot wait to put on my own socks. These are the realities of having one’s body hijacked.

During the takeover, distractions have come in handy. For a while, I was making ice cream on a biweekly basis. We had to jettison the ice cream maker bowl that is normally stored in the freezer to make room for more practical frozen food items. This left me with a craving.

I have always been skeptical of no-churn ice creams, but came across a fruit-based version from pastry chef, Stella Parks. It looked incredibly creamy and was an insane deep magenta hue, thanks to a very clever use of dried blueberries. I tried the recipe and never looked back.

It requires that you make a Swiss meringue, which is one of my favorite dessert techniques, though it can be a little stressful if you’ve never done it before. But it safely cooks the egg whites and also coaxes them into strong, delicate clouds with the mere addition of sugar and a little acid.

Stella’s other genius idea is to rely on freeze-dried fruit, which doesn’t impart additional moisture into the ice cream. This helps keep the ice crystals away and the flavor bright. The result is an incredibly rich, yet refreshing frozen dessert that screams summer. I’ve tried a number of varieties and settled on raspberry to share. Strawberry is a household favorite too, but the world probably does not need another strawberry ice cream recipe. (If you do, simply swap out the fruit and you’re golden.)

So there you have it. I guess this is basically a story about a pregnant woman and her ice cream cravings. But there are lessons here for all of us.

First, please be kind to pregnant people. They have usually traded earthly delights, like wine and cheese, for hemorrhoids and insomnia. They are also carrying humans who will go on to become world leaders and nurses and bartenders, so we are really all in this together anyway.

There is also an unreasonable amount of joy that can come from taking a leap to try something new. Particularly when that something is ice cream.

Raspberry Ice Cream

Adapted from Serious Eats, Courtesy of Stella Parks

Ingredients:

• 60 grams freeze-dried raspberries (or other fruit, see notes)

• 140 grams egg whites (about 2/3 cup or roughly 4 eggs, depending on the size)

• 165 grams sugar (about ¾ cup)

• 1½ grams kosher salt (about ¼ teaspoon), see note

• 10 grams fresh lemon juice (a scant tablespoon)

• 340 grams heavy cream (1½ cups)

• 15 grams Amaro or other complimentary spirit, like Grand Marnier (1 tablespoon)

• 1/8 teaspoon ground coriander (optional)

Instructions:

In a food processor, grind the raspberries (or other fruit) to a fine powder.  Even if you think it’s fine enough, grind it some more.  This will help the fruit smoothly incorporate and you’ll avoid grainy ice cream.  Using a sieve, sift out the seeds and discard them.  You may not be able to get all the seeds out, but aim to remove at least two-thirds and you’ll have a much creamier final product. Fruits with smaller seeds, like blueberries or strawberries, don’t need sifting. Set the powder aside.

Fill a medium saucepan with an inch or two of water. Bring to a boil and then reduce the heat to a simmer (aim for medium to medium low heat).

In a stainless steel or heat-resistant bowl that can sit over your saucepan without touching the water directly, combine the egg whites, sugar, salt, and lemon juice. Once the water is simmering, place the bowl over the saucepan and continuously whisk the egg white mixture until it reaches 165 degrees (this should take about 5 minutes).  The whites will froth up a little during this time and eventually thicken slightly and then deflate and get almost syrupy when they are done. (Keep a thermometer nearby.) You may also want an oven mitt handy to steady the bowl while you whisk.

(It is important you constantly mix during this time and don’t let the eggs sit, as they may heat too rapidly and scramble. If your mixture threatens to scramble, remove the bowl, whisk furiously, and turn down the heat before proceeding.)

Pour the egg mixture into the bowl of a stand mixer and whisk at high speed until stiff glossy peaks form.  Transfer the meringue to another bowl.  Using the same stand mixer bowl (no need to clean it), combine the heavy cream, fruit powder, alcohol, and spice (if using). Whip until stiff and thick, it will look like frosting when it’s done.

Gently fold in the meringue and spoon it into a freezer-safe container with a lid (a ceramic baking dish or loaf pan works in a pinch too).  Cover with a layer of plastic wrap, pressing it directly onto the ice cream.  If using the baking dish or loaf pan, cover it with foil if you do not have a lid.

 Let freeze for at least 6 to 8 hours before eating. (It will last at least 3 weeks in the freezer.)

 Makes a robust quart of ice cream

 Notes:

1. If you don’t have a kitchen scale, check the package of freeze-dried fruit for a weight.  Using this brand, 60 grams is almost two packages.

2. Other wonderful flavor combinations include: strawberries with amaretto, blueberries with gin and coriander (cinnamon is nice too), and bananas with pineapple rum.

3. If you are not using large grain kosher salt, like David’s brand, cut the volume of the salt in half to just a pinch.