This picture makes it seem like I have things together. I assure, I do not. Most days, I am one breezy-looking grain bowl away from a meltdown.

My daughter, Violet, peed in her wicker toy chest moments before this meal was set to hit the table. No dinner is helped by this type of aggression. I had just placed a pound of angel hair pasta into boiling water.

Usually capellini-type noodles are a dinner time hero. The thin strands cook very quickly. But that night I had about five minutes before our meal dissolved into glue.

Perhaps a less neurotic person would have left the pee until after dinner. I did not.

It is very hard parenting as a perfectionist. It must be extremely hard for Violet. Anne Lamott says, “I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die.” I try to remember this when I am reflecting back on how the day went with Violet. No one is going to die over gluey pasta or some pee on the floor. Though some days this kind of logical thinking feels impossible.

Violet’s use of her toy chest as a toilet might not have been that different than my impulsive urge to clean it up. An attempt to gain some control when you feel like you have so little. This is also why having a meal that mutates into a gummy mess can feel so egregious. Just one more thing melting into the ever-mounting pile of chaos. (It could also simply be that Violet did not want to stop playing and the bin offered a semi-private space of convenience. There is really no way to know.)

At this point I have strayed far from dinner. You might be wondering what happened to the noodles. Running the strands under cold water helped. A quick tossing with dressing saved them. And this is the real reason I am here today.

I cannot overemphasize how wonderful this vinaigrette is. The fresh ginger and scallions add a punchy brightness. It is salty, sharp, and slightly sweet. I like to toast the oil with some dried chilies, but this is not a necessary step. Just do not skimp on the sugar. It is important to balance the other flavors.

The dressing works very well with crunchy vegetables, but even if you do not have any it will perk up whatever you have in your pantry. It works with pasta or rice and pairs well with leftovers like chicken or tofu. If you do not have any protein prepared, peanuts, tinned fish or shelled edamame from the freezer could easily be employed. Prep the dressing while the noodles or rice cook and it will pull dinner together.

What I love about a meal like this is that it is, what I call, choose your own adventure. Add whatever protein you have hanging around. Toss in the vegetables you like or find easiest to cook or might most appeal to a four-year-old. Fold in any remaining items that are threatening to become food cadavers in the fridge.

I employed the same method last week with dinner. I was too tired to prepare much or think of anything that everyone would want to eat. So I sliced up some vegetables, opened a pack of deli meat, and let the people decide. Violet loved getting to choose what was in her sandwich. And her parents loved that there was not a mountain of dishes to climb thirty minutes before bedtime.

Sometimes it might actually help to give up a little control over dinner. It can be hard to recognize when you need to. This dressing is here to remind that you need not have it together all the time. Though it helps to keep some supplies in your pantry when life pees all over the place.

Ginger Scallion Vinaigrette

Ingredients:

for the vinaigrette

¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil
3 dried chiles (such as Tien Tsin or Chile de Arbol)
¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons tamari or soy sauce
2 tablespoon rice vinegar
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
thumb-size peeled fresh ginger
2 scallions, green and white parts

for the bowl (a loose guide)

12 ounces uncooked noodles (like angel hair or capellini) or 1½ cups uncooked rice
crunchy vegetables (like carrots, cucumbers, peppers, celery)
tender leafy vegetables or herbs (like baby kale, cilantro)
cooked vegetables (like steamed broccoli, roasted Brussels sprouts)
protein (like leftover chicken or tofu, canned fish, shelled edamame)
toppings (like avocado, sesame seeds, nori)

Instructions:

In a small saucepan, add the sesame oil and chiles. Cook on medium heat for 2 to 4 minutes, swirling the pan occasionally, until it smelly nutty. Remove from the burner and set aside to cool slightly.

In a small liquid measuring cup or bowl, mix in the tamari, vinegar and sugar with a fork. Remove the dried chiles from the saucepan and then wisk in the sesame oil.

Mince together the ginger and scallions. Add them to the vinaigrette mixture and set aside. Reserve the cutting board for chopping whatever raw vegetables you have.

Meanwhile, cook the noodles (or rice) according to the package directions. Once the noodles are about al dente, place them in a large mesh strainer or colander and run under cool water. (If using angel hair pasta consider removing about 1 minute before this point.) Set the drained noodles aside.

Chop your raw, crunchy vegetables and add them to a large bowl. Add in the noodles and toss with one third to half of the dressing. You want the noodles to be well coated with sauce, but not overly saturated. (If using rice instead, keep separate until it is time to assemble the individual bowls.) Add in whatever leafy greens you have and toss again.

Portion the noodle mixture into individual bowls. Add any remaining ingredients you want in your bowl (protein, toppings, et cetera). (If using rice instead, add it along with all your other components here.) Drizzle with remaining dressing, until you feel you have enough. (If you are serving a young child you may elect to portion out the ingredients, keeping them separate and undressed. I do not want to give the impression my daughter ate this bowl as pictured. She did not.)

Makes about 1 cup vinaigrette

Notes:

Angel hair pasta and capellini are technically two different sizes. Angel hair is slightly smaller in diameter. This was news to me and I did not want to suggest otherwise.
Pad Thai-style brown rice noodles are also a wonderful (and quick) option here.
I love Dave Chang and I love his tamari and soy sauce.