If I could rewind, I would not have flipped the latch on my springform pan causing cheesecake liquid to ooze slowly, unstoppably out. Like molasses, equally as messy, and just as painful to watch.

If you are one of those people who chirps about reframing things, you might call this a teachable moment. I am not that together most of the time.

I stood just staring at the puddle of cheesecake on my floor for a few minutes. On a Tuesday at roughly 9 PM, a good deal of wasted dairy threatened to take me down.

After I cleaned bits of eggy cream cheese from my cabinet doors, floor, and the crevice between my stove and sink, and collected myself, I got to work on round two. Cheesecake: 1 Emily: 0

I intended to make dessert for a fourth of July party and it would have been simply un-American to show up cheesecakeless. We are fighters. We love Rocky Balboa. We wear tiny cutoff shorts with the pockets showing. We eat cheese in all forms. And so I went back to the grocery store, and reloaded.

This is not a cheesecake for weaklings. There seems to be a good deal of praise devoted to cheesecakes that are "light" and "airy." This is all fine and good and could probably be considered progressive. I do not want a cheesecake like this. I want one that is thick and luscious. One that will knock me out with her American thighs. And this cheesecake is all of those things.

A sliver is all you need to feel satisfied. The cake is classic and I love it for sentimental reasons.

The base recipe comes from my Great Aunt Rose. It won me over as a favorite dessert at family holiday gatherings a few years ago. And when I asked her for the recipe she said, “It’s good. But it’s a pain in the ass.” And then forked it over.

It is actually not too terribly difficult to make, but you do have to pay attention to it. And if you open your springform pan prematurely you may find yourself swearing like a sailor.

I added the blackberries because I wanted something to cut through its richness. And though I am not usually a fan of their big, brutish drupelets, the container I picked up and sniffed smelled slightly of cassis and this was enough to change my mind. So with a newly found vision of cold cheesecake topped with a crown of glossy blackberries, I came back swinging.

And this time, it was a knockout. Because it ain’t how hard you hit. It is about how many dropped cheesecakes you can take, and keep baking.

Blackberry Lemon Verbena Cheesecake

Adapted from Aunt Rose

Ingredients:

for the crust

1 cup all-purpose flour, sifted
¼ cup sugar
zest of one lemon
pinch of salt
pinch of ground ginger
pinch of ground coriander
½ cup butter
1 egg yolk
a generous ½ tsp vanilla extract

for the filling

40 ounces cream cheese (5 packages), softened to room temperature
a generous ½ tsp vanilla extract
zest of one lemon
1¾ cup sugar
3 tbsp all purpose flour
¼ tsp salt
4 to 5 eggs (1 liquid cup full), at room temperature
2 egg yolks, at room temperature
¼ cup heavy cream
splash of orange blossom water (optional)

for the blackberry topping

25 ounces of blackberries (or roughly 3 to 4 cups), divided
2 tbsp lemon juice
about ⅓ cup of sugar (depending on the sweetness of the berries)
pinch of salt
2 tbsp Crème de Cassis
3 sprigs of lemon verbena (optional)

Instructions:

for the cheesecake

Set the oven to 400 degrees.

In a medium bowl, combine the first six ingredients for the crust and then cut in the butter until the mixture is crumbly. Add in the vanilla and egg yolk. Mix until the mixture is fully moist. (It may help to do this with your hands.)

Place a little more than a third of the mixture into the bottom of a 9-inch springform pan and bake until golden brown, about 8 to 10 minutes. Let cool. (If it's hot in your kitchen you may want to put the rest of the mixture into the fridge while the bottom bakes.)

When the bottom crust has cooled, lock in the sides of the springform pan. Butter the sides, and press the rest of the crust mixture from the bottom up the sides, up to about one inch in height. (Not all of the cheesecake will be covered with crust.)

To make the filling, beat the softened cream cheese until creamy and velvety smooth in a stand mixer. Add the vanilla and lemon zest and then add the sugar, flour, and salt gradually while the mixer is running on low speed. Then add the eggs one at a time, while the mixer is still running.

Fold in the heavy cream and orange blossom water. Pour the mixture into your springform pan (it will nearly fill the pan so don't be alarmed).

Bake at 450 degrees for 10 to 15 minutes (my instructions say 12) and then turn the oven down to 300 degrees and bake for 55 minutes more. Place on a wire rack to cool.

After 30 minutes, gently loosen the sides of the pan with a knife. After 1 hour, remove the sides of the springform pan. Allow to cool two hours longer before placing in the fridge to chill.

for the blackberry topping

Line the top of your cheesecake with a layer of fresh berries. You can stagger and stack them a bit to create some height, but a slightly haphazard little pile is all you need.

Place a few handfuls of the berries into a saucepan. Add in the lemon juice, sugar, and salt and cook on medium heat until the berries start to burst and let their sauces out and then add the Crème de Cassis.

Cook until the mixture starts to thicken. It should look thick and glossy, but still be spreadable (this will take about 10 to 15 minutes). Add a little more lemon juice to the pan to thin out the sauce, as needed.

Once at the desired consistency, drop in your lemon verbena sprigs and take off the heat to cool slightly, about 5 to 10 minutes. Strain out the seeds; reserve for another use or discard.

With a pastry brush, gently brush the strained blackberry syrup-glaze over the top of the berries.

Serve immediately or refrigerate until ready to serve.

Makes one cheesecake (for about 12 to 16 humans)

Notes:

I love lemon verbena in the summer. It is a good counterpart for the blackberries and a natural here, playing off the lemon zest and ginger and coriander in the crust.
You can spread the strained, sweetened seeds on toast.
More about Crème de Cassis here.